Just a Midwestern girl off to LA to live out my nerdy science dream... and hopefully make new friends, have awesome adventures and consume delicious food and beverage in the process...
So there is one VERY obvious difference between LA and the Midwest that I have avoided talking about for quite some time now. Not because it doesn't come into play in my life nearly everyday, but simply because acknowledging it, especially so publicly, makes it real. And having this become real puts me at risk for being uncomfortable and possibly feeling bad about myself. However, the point of this blog is to be open, honest, and push myself; embracing change and new experiences. So, in that spirit, it's time for me to admit that when I go almost anywhere in LA, I become the elephant in the room. Like, literally the largest person in a sea of toothpicks.
**DISCLAIMER: I do not think I'm fat. You may think I'm fat, and that's fine, you are entitled to your opinion. I am also not writing this for sympathy or reassurance. I am not fishing for complements. I'm trying to broach a topic that plagues FAR TOO MANY women today with some honesty and humor. Hopefully it will at least make someone smile; at best I would love to help someone feel like they aren't so alone when they are sitting on a bench outside of a store that makes seemingly child-sized clothes, waiting for their friends. Also, for those of you that have never met me in person, I am 6 feet tall. End scene.
Ahem, back to my original point. Seriously. I'm not kidding. Most days it feels like this:
Buuuttt some days it feels like this:
I'm swear I'm not exaggerating either. I have never bumped into so many things with my ass when just trying to walk through a place; tables, clothes racks, bar stools, the occasional person in yoga class... it is pretty obvious that the businesses of this city are not planning for people of my stature and girth as their clientele.
This weekend I reached an epic milestone in not only my LA life, but my entire life as a whole.
I
FINALLY
used the Cupcake ATM!!!
If it were possible, I would be hugging the machine...
And my wonderful friend Emily was in town to share my special day with me. After a weekend of fun, sun (perhaps a little too much...), and some quality time with one of my favorite college friends, we decided it was only appropriate to finish with dessert.
Since a picture is worth a thousand words, and since I do not have the words to justly describe my epic experience, please enjoy the following picture montage of my fourth attempt at cashing in some dough.
I'm a big fan of cupcakes. Big fan. I'm one of those people for whom a completely terrible day can be totally turned around by someone handing me a red velvet cupcake. Seriously. As intellectual as I can be, I'm really still as easily pleased as a small child. I've earned me the nickname "The Little One" at work given that I'm the youngest and that things like my new business cards are the COOLEST thing ever even if they have my e-mail address wrong and I have to rip them from the Avery printable sheets myself. Anyway, I digress...
It's no surprise that receiving the following e-mail from my father on Sunday completely changed the focus of my week:
Oh yeah, my sister is here. That's pretty cool too, but I've had her for a little over 23 years. A cupcake ATM is brand. spanking. new. I'll write more about her visit later. Right now- cupcakes. Clearly, Ken and I made sure to jaunt over to BH on Sunday after dinner to check out the newest way to get your sugar fix. The result:
FYI: Kendall's shirt is a brand new style
from Jill Aiko Yee's upcoming spring line!
Yep. The ATM was not yet up and running. The article was extremely misleading. And we were heartbroken, as you can probably tell by Kendall's expression. Regardless, I began following the ATM on Facebook. On Tuesday, the ATM updated it status and announced that it was open for business. On Wednesday, Kendall and I again made our way to Beverly Hills after dinner to find this:
Psh. Yeah. Even I am not enough of a fat kid to wait in that line for a cupcake that may or may not even be fresh. According to YouTube this is what my experience would have been like:
Chelsea Handler also had some comments about the new addition to our metropolis on her show (that I was not able to find on YouTube), namely recognizing that there are no drive-thrus in BH for a reason, the ATM is just asking for an "influx of drunk assholes" to the area and that they should really focus on a cupcake delivery service. At this last point, my heart filled with pride and nostalgia, knowing that such a magic thing existed and that it was only in Boulder.
Yes ladies and gentleman, Boulder,CO: Home of the Drunk Asshole has been doing delivery desserts since... well... at least since 2003 and probably for many, many years before that. And they are fabulous.
In summary, the Cupcake ATM is exciting and seems awesome. But like most over-hyped places in LA, there is no way that you can get near it for the time being and trying is going to be annoying as hell. When they install one at the Jack in the Box I live next door to, life will be complete. Mostly, I'm just bitter because I've failed at using the ATM. Twice. And because I drove down Rodeo Drive. Twice. In one week. Wha wah.
Also, delivery deserts would be so clutch in LA and Boulder rules.
