My Life as a Nomad

I have many positive associations with multicolored nylon fabrics fashioned into large structures. Also known as tents.

Circus Tents 

Who doesn't love the circus?  Unless you have a huge fear of clowns or had a bad experience as a child, I think that any excuse to watch animals and eat nachos and cotton candy under the big top is a win.

Camping Tents

I grew up camping. My sister and I had Mickey Mouse tent that we would set up in our basement to play in and later a small purple one. Sometimes we went on family camping trips and occasionally we would go crazy and pitch it in the back yard!  I think there was one summer when I spent a whole week sleeping out in the tent. And then in high school, camping became a great excuse to have uni-sex sleepovers! Oh, and s'mores.

Parachute Tents

This is probably my favorite association. I LOVED to play with the parachute as a child. Probably for longer than I should have enjoyed it. I loved to play popcorn (were you throw balls in the middle and toss them around) and I always wanted to jump in the middle and get tossed around too.  I realize now that would not work so well... anyways, my second favorite part was when you lift the parachute up really high and then duck under and sit on the edge- creating a large tent with a hole in the top where you can see the sky.  And then is slowly starts to deflate around you... totally safe...

With all these positive tent associations it is regrettable that I now have a negative association to share.  See, when you get the news that your house is being tented, it does not mean that you get animals, s'mores, or hours of tactile play time (unfortunately).  It means that there are termites in the building and that you are being kicked out for two days while they cover the building (in a pretty tent!) and fumigate with poisonous gas. (Yep, I looked it up.  When they assure me that the gas is not water soluble, I immediately become curious as to its other properties... *cough* Chem nerd *cough*)

 

 

 

And for those of you that are unfamiliar, this is what my complex normally looks like...

 

 

 

I have seen several termite tents since moving to California. I do not recall ever seeing such a thing in the Midwest, but please, correct me if I am wrong. After doing a short bit of research (aka Google) indicates that termites are more prevalent in tropical or sub-tropical regions and thus, thrive better in the warm southern climates of the US. However, on specific breed can live anywhere but Alaska. This map shows the species and their prevelance in different areas of the US.

Anyway, even though I have seen the tents, this is not something that I ever expected that I would have to deal with. A few weeks ago, a neighbor informed me that they found termites while renovating a recently open apartment and that there was evidence of termites in several other units. And apparently tenting is how you deal with termites here... or at least a problem that is so far progressed.

I had been on edge for weeks, knowing that I may have to vacate my apartment on short notice and not really knowing how much of my stuff would be affected. I tried to buy as little food as possible and eat up what I had around. Also, my family had a visit planned and I was super anxious (and almost certain  that I would get tented while they were here and we would all be forced to enjoy Santa Monica like tourists). Fortunately, my family came and went without incident, and last Tuesday evening, I got an e-mail from my landlord that we would be tented on Thursday by noon. As in less than two days from that moment. "Do you have friends you can stay with? Would you like a hotel? Can you let me know tonight?"  Fortunately, I had already discussed this possibility with my friend's Emma and James and I was graciously offered accommodation in their extra bedroom.

With my alternate lodging set, I began to prepare to vacate my house. Except that on Tuesday night, I wasn't really sure what to do. I was told that they company would come by on Wednesday to drop off bags for our food and other instructions.  I had no idea if I should pack up my clothes, cover my dishes, or just be prepared to wash everything later.  What I did know was that eating as much of my food as possible could only be helpful. So on Tuesday night, I sat around, ate random things from my fridge, and played around with my new tablet.

Wednesday was D-day. Or T-day. I dunno.  I guess D/T-day was technically Thursday, but Wednesday was the day of preparations and the day that felt the worst to me.  At first the instructions seemed simple enough. Bag your food.  Bag any medications you will leave in the house.  Basically, anything you will ingest later, bag it up.  Everything else is fine to be left as is.  But here are the potential problems with these "simple" instructions:

- All items must be double bagged and bags must be twisted, folded and secured with a zip-tie. I'm pleased to say that I now know how to operate a zip-tie with only one hand.  My other hand was holding my ridiculously tight bag knot in place for the security and freshness of my food. I don't know when I will need this skill again, but I have acquired it nonetheless.

 

- Items in the refrigerator and freezer should be bagged and placed back into the fridge/freezer. Cue the most intense game of freezer Tetris I have ever played. And I am good at freezer Tetris. My strategy was to pack up the fridge/freezer first since these items either had to fit in these spaces or go away.  If I didn't have enough bags for my pantry items, they could always live in my car.  So I assessed my freezer space, threw out a few useless item, and then began to pack a bag, ensuring that I minded the height and width of my freezer space. I closed the bag and put it in the freezer... where the door wouldn't shut.... because I forgot to think about shelf on the side...

 

As you might imagine, it's really difficult to shift items around when they are double bagged in two gas proof plastic bags.  It can be done, somewhat, but you can also pull, stretch, and tape this monstrosity until it is secured away from the door. Warning: you will probably smash some lean cuisines and wish that you had thrown them out in the first place...

When I packed the fridge, I put the bag on the shelf and packed it inside the fridge.  Much easier.

- Bag any open bottles of alcohol and any wine that is corked.  

Well crap.  First time in my life I have ever wished I did not have a wine fridge.  This was seriously a big pain, mostly because I was concerned first-and-foremost with the safety of my wine.

 

After trying to protect my babies, I discovered the packaging took up far too much room in the precious bags.  So rather than abandon some of my corked bottles, I left them fend for themselves with the rest of my booze.

 

 

Even the 2-buck-Chuck was ushered into the protective bag; leave no fermented grape product behind.  And here's to hoping the seal is tight on my screw top varieties... 

 

 

-Bag any medications you are leaving in the house.
This one actually cause several severe nightmares when I was trying to sleep on Wednesday night.  At first, I thought, no problems, I'm not on any medication really.  And then, I started to think about all the random stuff I have acquired in my medicine totes over the years. Various aspirins and sinus medications; things that aren't used regularly but definitely still live in my apartment. In multiple random places mind you. What if I missed a bottle, and years later I go to take an Advil and kill myself?  And crap, what about gum and mints!!!  I have those stashed all over my purses and clutches. What if I miss one and in a few months someone asks me for gum when we are at the bar and I kill them!?!  I knew it was useless to try and bag all of this at one, so I started a tote bag that would leave the house with me.  And continued to wake up in a panic at odd hours in the night to riffle though another random part of my house to pull out some other item that could be ingested some day.  Also, I'm gonna give myself a big high five for remembering that there is both allergy and pain medication in first-aid kits. Removing those sets of pills was really a clutch move that will ensure that my first-aid kit doesn't become a death package.

 

So, finally everything was bagged and set and I vacated my apartment for two days and went to live with Emma and James.  Though this process was initially VERY frustrating, it actually ended up being really good. First of all, there are no more termites in the complex. Definite win. I had a great time and some great dinners with Em, James, and Hannelore, I got to purge my fridge and pantry of unnecessary items, and I had a chance to interact with my other neighbors and get to know them better.  That said, this is definitely not a process I would choose to go through again.  It is quite weird to be a vagabond nomad in your own city, and let's be honest, there is no place like home.